Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Chocolates, Flowers and the Heart of Feng Shui

There is a certain holiday coming up, all pink and red, wine and roses, Hallmark cards and candy hearts. Most women love this day while most men block it from their minds until the drive home, and then panic sets in. A quick stop at the supermarket where they luckily pick up one of the last bouquets of mixed flowers, a rather generic greeting card and maybe even a box of store bought chocolates. Yes, you know the one.

If you are in a loving relationship it is a day to show your partner appreciation. To get romantic. To turn your back on the day to day responsibilities and small irritants and revel in each other’s love and admiration. But if you are single, whether by choice or by circumstance, it can be a rather dreaded occasion as you sit home downing a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey and watching reruns of Sex and the City.

I am somewhat of a non-conformist and by no means do I believe that everyone should be in a relationship that entails “till death do us part.” But for those of you that are already in a relationship that could stand a little improvement (and don’t kid yourself, all relationships could use a little key in the ignition now and then) or for those of you looking for love, keep reading.

In Feng Shui, where our environment mirrors our lives, we want it of course to look it’s very best. We want it clean, happy, filled with items we love, items that have a purpose and that serve us well.  We want to be able to relax, feel comfortable, and to create our own sanctuary.

Our home in Feng Shui is divided into several life areas, and one of those sectors rules our relationships. There are specific guidelines for adding or removing items in this area to attract or maintain a wonderful relationship. They make perfect sense when you stop and think about them. If you're not sure which area of your home the relationship area falls, you can always make adjustments in your bedroom.

If you live alone but want to attract a partner, you want to make room for that person. If you are female and your bedroom is too feminine, lots of pastels, lace, teddy bears on the bed, one little night table, you are basically saying you are happy with what you have and maybe not ready for a relationship. 

If you are a man and your bedroom is still sporting a ratty old sleeping bag as your comforter, there is a naked girl auto shop calendar adorning your wall and a trophy fish hangs proudly over the bed, it might be time to change things up!  Trust me on this.

You want to make sure that you have two nightstands (they do not have to match but should be of equal size), two table lamps (again, of equal size to promote equality), and try to balance the yin and yang. That means not too masculine and not too feminine. Think balancing opposites. Not too dark, not too light, not too soft, not too hard.

Get inspiration from your favorite hotel rooms. Google them. Copy them. Add some of your personality and make it your very own retreat. Add photos of the two of you, place items in pairs, use the most luxurious linens you can afford, remove the TV (at least put it behind closed doors or cover at night), remove items from under the bed, don’t sleep under heavy beams, and as much as you might not like me saying this, if you have a King size bed, consider a Queen. Much better Feng Shui.  Call me and I’ll tell you why or I can at least give you a remedy to use if you want to keep that King bed.

If you are already in a relationship, look at this room with fresh eyes. Does it best serve both of you? Do you both feel nurtured, comfortable, protected, enjoy the colors, the art, the space? You both live here and you should both love it. In Feng Shui, bedrooms are best suited for sleep and intimacy. They are not to be used as workspaces, exercise rooms or catch all's. Clear out any clutter and make this space as extraordinary as you would like your relationship to be.

Unfortunately, we tend to pay more attention to the rooms in our homes that are public spaces and neglect the areas that should be our private retreat. We spend the most amount of concentrated time here, we sleep here, heal here, and love here. 

When most of us think of romance we are usually transported to a place with soft music, candlelight, fire in the fireplace, beautifully set tables and a delicious aromatic meal, possibly by the sea. This is just one example of how sensitive we are to our surroundings and how much they affect our thoughts, moods and actions.

Make sure your room and your home reflects the mood you want to create. If you like little white fairy lights inside, you don’t have to wait until December. If you love listening to classical musical and it lifts your mood and makes you sing inside, why instead do we let the noise of some horrible TV pundit fill our ears?  Why do we put away the good china and use the old chipped and mismatched dishware we bought in college unless it is a special occasion or we have company? Why don’t we treat ourselves like the gifts we are, every day, all year long?  We all need love, to give love and to get love. So make room for that special someone, make room for yourself, and celebrate life and each other like everyday is Valentine’s Day.

For more information call Kim Klein at 707.815.0913 or email at kimberjklein@gmail.com

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